Don’t you know who my creator is?

I can feel you breathing down my neck. I can hear the lies you tell. It’s like a weight that cripples me and makes it feel like hell.

I know you’re fighting hard, but you’re fighting against a battle I know too well.

You see I’m no stranger to this prison wall. Where you tell me I’m not worthy of greatness and I’m going to fall.

But do you not know who my creator is? Who gave it all? Who hears me weap and saved us all?

He picks up my ashes and breathes life into this tired and weary soul. He’s made me strong and courageous and with a heart of gold.

Lord please drown out the voices that tell me I’m no good. Heal these wounds with your loving blood!

I refuse to go out like this. I was created for more. To walk the path of righteousness and tell the world.

Jesus, lover of my soul. Please don’t ever let me go. I know you’ve won this battle and are sitting on the throne!

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Sit with Jesus..

This morning my husband got up to go hunting. Typically I’d fall back asleep and wake when the kids do but I kept hearing in my head, sit with Jesus. My mother in law gifted me a devotional years ago called messy motherhood. I’ve picked it up and put it down so many times but that’s motherhood right? However I chose that as my baseline for this morning’s visit with God. And man does he NOT disappoint when he specifically calls you to sit with him immediately! In this devotional Lysa talks about: “(Ephesians 4:22-24). The Greek word for "made new" is koino. One of its definitions is "uncommon." I wanted to be an uncommon calm in the midst of chaos and an example of peace for my kids in a world of pressure. For that to happen, I came up with a plan for us moms: Tell the world to wait.” In my overstimulated brain I often getting very tired and weary. It’s like there’s no escaping it. But I was reminded today that I am managing blessings and if I want to cultivate q...

Rise above!

I should probably give you some background on who I am and where I have come from. When I was 9 I started passing out. They ran test and finally determined I had bradycardia (slow heart arrhythmia). They put a pacemaker in and it changed my life forever, my health is probably one of the main source of my anxiety and I never learned to cope with it until 4 years ago when I needed to rise above it. I am married to the most amazing husband. We have had struggles as we've grown up together. Trying to take on life. We've had multiple people live with us and we lived together a few years before getting married. there was never really a honeymoon stage. But through the hurdles of it all overcame those. In 2012 my husband had a dirt bike wreck and broke his collarbone. In 2013 I had a pacemaker replacement and while they were in there threading the lead in my artery punctured my lung and I got pneumothorax and a blood clot in my arm. Talk about my anxiety going through the...

Contentment

I haven’t wrote since my miscarriage. Honestly I stopped anything that I was doing to advance myself mentally, physically and emotionally because I was numb. Anxiety sets in and derails me from my supplements that I know work for me. I convinced myself it was what caused the miscarriage and irregular periods. However I know what the root cause of my problems are. They always have been my anxiety. But they don’t always have to be. I’m not comfortable living a “victim” mindset. Not that things haven’t been tough for me but because I have tons to be grateful for and I know it could always be worse. You see chronic stress rather it’s brought on by life or stress we manifest ourselves will make you physically ill. It’s a viscous cycle. Your anxiety makes you worry about everything on God’s green earth and then it creates high levels of stress. The saying “what goes up, must come down” obviously was never referring to an anxious mind. And your body believes what your mind tells it to. I...

Let's turn this struggle bus around...

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