Don’t you know who my creator is?

I can feel you breathing down my neck. I can hear the lies you tell. It’s like a weight that cripples me and makes it feel like hell.

I know you’re fighting hard, but you’re fighting against a battle I know too well.

You see I’m no stranger to this prison wall. Where you tell me I’m not worthy of greatness and I’m going to fall.

But do you not know who my creator is? Who gave it all? Who hears me weap and saved us all?

He picks up my ashes and breathes life into this tired and weary soul. He’s made me strong and courageous and with a heart of gold.

Lord please drown out the voices that tell me I’m no good. Heal these wounds with your loving blood!

I refuse to go out like this. I was created for more. To walk the path of righteousness and tell the world.

Jesus, lover of my soul. Please don’t ever let me go. I know you’ve won this battle and are sitting on the throne!

Comments

Kindness

If I choose to be nice to someone even though they are constantly being mean to me, I don’t do it for them. I do it for myself. It doesn’t mean I don’t catch your caddy or insulting ways to try to make yourself feel good by degrading me. It is because you are not worth me changing who I am because of an opinion. In this world there will be people that will try to make you feel stupid, small or unworthy. How you react speaks volumes about who you are. An unhappy miserable person will show their butt and that is their journey. All you can do is pray that whatever hardened their heart changes for them. I spent WAY too many years worrying about what strangers, coworkers, and some family members thought of me to the point where I didn’t even know who I was. But I know EXACTLY who I am and I will not lose my soul because of someone else. An Intelligent and classy women is one who can say whatever they want to destroy someone but chooses not to. “Don’t be like the rest of them darling” Pam ...

Sit with Jesus..

This morning my husband got up to go hunting. Typically I’d fall back asleep and wake when the kids do but I kept hearing in my head, sit with Jesus. My mother in law gifted me a devotional years ago called messy motherhood. I’ve picked it up and put it down so many times but that’s motherhood right? However I chose that as my baseline for this morning’s visit with God. And man does he NOT disappoint when he specifically calls you to sit with him immediately! In this devotional Lysa talks about: “(Ephesians 4:22-24). The Greek word for "made new" is koino. One of its definitions is "uncommon." I wanted to be an uncommon calm in the midst of chaos and an example of peace for my kids in a world of pressure. For that to happen, I came up with a plan for us moms: Tell the world to wait.” In my overstimulated brain I often getting very tired and weary. It’s like there’s no escaping it. But I was reminded today that I am managing blessings and if I want to cultivate q...

To the anxious momma...

When you’re an anxious person it’s already a tough journey. You just have days where you get swept away with obsessive thoughts and you physically feeling ill. As a mom it equally gets worse and better all at the same time. The worries of all the milestones to be met, as a working mom not being able to be there enough, and basically keeping them alive! One of my biggest fears as a new mom was that I was going to pass my anxiety onto my daughter. That she would experience these debilitating thoughts and symptoms and be held captive too. I try to hide my anxiety and I’ve done pretty good being strong for her. But some days especially while coming off the Zoloft and realizing that I’m not quite ready for that she sees me struggling. She knows mommas not well. It makes me sad for her. But she’s strong and resilient and I believe in her having a sense of awareness of mental illness and seeing me learn to cope will help her too. She’s going through separation anxiety and I try to t...

Let's turn this struggle bus around...

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