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To the anxious momma...

When you’re an anxious person it’s already a tough journey. You just have days where you get swept away with obsessive thoughts and you physically feeling ill.
As a mom it equally gets worse and better all at the same time. The worries of all the milestones to be met, as a working mom not being able to be there enough, and basically keeping them alive! 
One of my biggest fears as a new mom was that I was going to pass my anxiety onto my daughter. That she would experience these debilitating thoughts and symptoms and be held captive too.
I try to hide my anxiety and I’ve done pretty good being strong for her. But some days especially while coming off the Zoloft and realizing that I’m not quite ready for that she sees me struggling. She knows mommas not well. It makes me sad for her.
But she’s strong and resilient and I believe in her having a sense of awareness of mental illness and seeing me learn to cope will help her too.
She’s going through separation anxiety and I try to teach her ways to cope. To take control of it. Although it helps her to learn that the only way to overcome your fears is to go through it. To look that challenge dead in the face and know that determination and Gods love you can do anything! This also helps me be more present. To remind myself to practice what I preach. 
I’m on a journey to heal myself through therapy, prayer, supplements to heal my gut, and learn to be patient in the process.
You see I’ve always considered myself a weak person because I have a mental illness. But oh is that wrong. Strength is knowing you’re going to struggle but keep going. It’s not being afraid of who you are or where you’ve been but being teachable, to use every obstacle as a lesson. 
We were not created for this. We were created to overcome this through God and a little determination. 
So to the anxious momma, 
I know it’s hard to be strong when you can’t breathe, I understand what it’s like to be in the room with your child and feel like you’re looking in on the two of you and wishing you could act differently but your body won’t let you. I understand that sometimes anxiety makes you snappy then weap because you wanted to respond with grace.
They will forgive you. They will love you. And they will be ok. The best thing you can do for them is take care of you! 
“Permanence, perseverance and persistence in spite of all obstacles, discouragements, and impossibilities: It is this, that in all things distinguishes the strong soul from the weak.”
Isaiah 30:15 (ESV)…in quietness and in trust shall be your strength. 

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