When my soul is weak

I consider myself a pretty strong woman. This hasn’t always been an assurance of mine as I’m the first to criticize myself. However as I age, I’m starting to really see how strong I can truly be. Chronic health problems will weigh you down. I’m learning to love myself exactly the way I am though. Hard pressed on every side but not crushed.

When I got the call from my husband on April 3rd 2014 and heard the words potential double amputee from the first responder I knew this was life changing. I was so scared for him, for myself. I found strength as a caregiver and wife after God as I searched my savior for guidance. And he provided us with that very thing.

Although my husbands prognosis wasn’t promised a complete recovery it did show miracles. But what happens as the clock keeps ticking? It’s a mental toll just to go through the hardships knowing there may not be an end in sight.

My God saved my husband on the side of the road that day. He saved him because my dear husband is brave, encouraging and meant for more! Maybe to help me, or maybe even you?

He gave us a beautiful daughter, a breath of fresh air as we try to find the normalcy through my health issues and his injuries.

Motherhood can be quite challenging and I’m learning more of who I am, who I want to be and who I don’t want to be. I’ve learned to let go of things I cannot control because life is far too precious not to.

I’ve grown in a competitive company as a struggling girl who didn’t have a clue as to who she was or what she wanted to a girl who knows she’s valuable. Work hard, and be kind.

Lord, please forgive me as I hurry through this life chasing short term goals. Give me the eyes to see the broken hearted, the lost.

I pray for my husband to be pain free, and if not pain free then minimum God speed recovery. Guidance, restoration.

I pray for spiritual strength as a wife and mother.

I pray for protection for our sweet girl.

Let not my soul be weak but on fire for God.

Are you struggling with your faith and soul right now? Do you need prayer and provision? I’d love to pray for you!

❤️ Pamela

Comments

Sit with Jesus..

This morning my husband got up to go hunting. Typically I’d fall back asleep and wake when the kids do but I kept hearing in my head, sit with Jesus. My mother in law gifted me a devotional years ago called messy motherhood. I’ve picked it up and put it down so many times but that’s motherhood right? However I chose that as my baseline for this morning’s visit with God. And man does he NOT disappoint when he specifically calls you to sit with him immediately! In this devotional Lysa talks about: “(Ephesians 4:22-24). The Greek word for "made new" is koino. One of its definitions is "uncommon." I wanted to be an uncommon calm in the midst of chaos and an example of peace for my kids in a world of pressure. For that to happen, I came up with a plan for us moms: Tell the world to wait.” In my overstimulated brain I often getting very tired and weary. It’s like there’s no escaping it. But I was reminded today that I am managing blessings and if I want to cultivate q

The narrow road..

Maybe it’s not about the straight and narrow road but how these red words come alive off this page. Maybe it seems so hard when you’re looking in the rear view mirror instead of between the yellow lines. I know I’ve found God at the end on my rope, looking out the window on my way to church. I believe he loves me on my bad days just as much as my worst, and I’ll never get to heaven unless I accept the hurt. He can use a fishing rod and deer stands, restless nights chasing monsters out from under the bed. If I’m gonna get to heaven I’ll learn to slow down and soak in the view, because living water pours from the mountain and reaches the valley in the lowest points of view. ❤️

I don’t think Jesus does it that way..

Every time I look back on what I’ve been through and I see the person I’m morphing into, I understand how the pain had to exist to get me to wake up. I’ve always been hard headed, and it wasn’t until I shared my testimony in text to my eldest niece that I truly understood the magnitude of it. I’ve talked about my testimony when I was younger but seeing it written out allowed me space to advocate for other young women like myself. Since I have a daughter I want her to know that there is so much groundwork that had to be done to cultivate a healthy lifestyle and that sometimes we have to walk through fire to find the best version of ourselves and there’s NO shame in that! 🖤 My testimony below - the younger version 🖤 “I remember the teenage years were so hard for me. I tried so hard to find where I fit in. I thrived on attention from anyone who would give it to me. I avoided the people I loved because I felt convicted of the lifestyle I was living anytime I was around good. But God!

Let's turn this struggle bus around...

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