Skip to main content

When my soul is weak

I consider myself a pretty strong woman. This hasn’t always been an assurance of mine as I’m the first to criticize myself. However as I age, I’m starting to really see how strong I can truly be. Chronic health problems will weigh you down. I’m learning to love myself exactly the way I am though. Hard pressed on every side but not crushed.

When I got the call from my husband on April 3rd 2014 and heard the words potential double amputee from the first responder I knew this was life changing. I was so scared for him, for myself. I found strength as a caregiver and wife after God as I searched my savior for guidance. And he provided us with that very thing. 
Although my husbands prognosis wasn’t promised a complete recovery it did show miracles. But what happens as the clock keeps ticking? It’s a mental toll just to go through the hardships knowing there may not be an end in sight.
My God saved my husband on the side of the road that day. He saved him because my dear husband is brave, encouraging and meant for more! Maybe to help me, or maybe even you?
He gave us a beautiful daughter, a breath of fresh air as we try to find the normalcy through my health issues and his injuries. 
Motherhood can be quite challenging and I’m learning more of who I am, who I want to be and who I don’t want to be. I’ve learned to let go of things I cannot control because life is far too precious not to.
I’ve grown in a competitive company as a struggling girl who didn’t have a clue as to who she was or what she wanted to a girl who knows she’s valuable. Work hard, and be kind.
Lord, please forgive me as I hurry through this life chasing short term goals. Give me the eyes to see the broken hearted, the lost. 
I pray for my husband to be pain  free, and if not pain free then minimum God speed recovery. Guidance, restoration.
I pray for spiritual strength as a wife and mother. 
I pray for protection for our sweet girl.
Let not my soul be weak but on fire for God. 
Are you struggling with your faith and soul right now? Do you need prayer and provision? I’d love to pray for you! 
❤️ Pamela 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sit with Jesus..

  This morning my husband got up to go hunting. Typically I’d fall back asleep and wake when the kids do but I kept hearing in my head, sit with Jesus. My mother in law gifted me a devotional years ago called messy motherhood. I’ve picked it up and put it down so many times but that’s motherhood right? However I chose that as my baseline for this morning’s visit with God. And man does he NOT disappoint when he specifically calls you to sit with him immediately!  In this devotional Lysa talks about: “(Ephesians 4:22-24). The Greek word for "made new" is koino. One of its definitions is "uncommon." I wanted to be an uncommon calm in the midst of chaos and an example of peace for my kids in a world of pressure. For that to happen, I came up with a plan for us moms: Tell the world to wait.” In my overstimulated brain I often getting very tired and weary. It’s like there’s no escaping it. But I was reminded today that I am managing blessings and if I want to cultivate q...
1 comment
Read more

Rise above!

I should probably give you some background on who I am and where I have come from. When I was 9 I started passing out. They ran test and finally determined I had bradycardia (slow heart arrhythmia).  They put a pacemaker in and it changed my life forever, my health is probably one of the main source of my anxiety and I never learned to cope with it until 4 years ago when I needed to rise above it. I am married to the most amazing husband. We have had struggles as we've grown up together. Trying to take on life. We've had multiple people live with us and we lived together a few years before getting married. there was never really a honeymoon stage. But through the hurdles of it all overcame those. In 2012 my husband had a dirt bike wreck and broke his collarbone. In 2013 I had a pacemaker replacement and while they were in there threading the lead in my artery punctured my lung and I got pneumothorax and a blood clot in my arm. Talk about my anxiety going through the...
Post a Comment
Read more

To the anxious momma...

When you’re an anxious person it’s already a tough journey. You just have days where you get swept away with obsessive thoughts and you physically feeling ill. As a mom it equally gets worse and better all at the same time. The worries of all the milestones to be met, as a working mom not being able to be there enough, and basically keeping them alive!  One of my biggest fears as a new mom was that I was going to pass my anxiety onto my daughter. That she would experience these debilitating thoughts and symptoms and be held captive too. I try to hide my anxiety and I’ve done pretty good being strong for her. But some days especially while coming off the Zoloft and realizing that I’m not quite ready for that she sees me struggling. She knows mommas not well. It makes me sad for her. But she’s strong and resilient and I believe in her having a sense of awareness of mental illness and seeing me learn to cope will help her too. She’s going through separation anxiety and I try to t...
Post a Comment
Read more