Skip to main content

I don’t think Jesus does it that way..

 


Every time I look back on what I’ve been through and I see the person I’m morphing into, I understand how the pain had to exist to get me to wake up. I’ve always been hard headed, and it wasn’t until I shared my testimony in text to my eldest niece that I truly understood the magnitude of it. I’ve talked about my testimony when I was younger but seeing it written out allowed me space to advocate for other young women like myself. Since I have a daughter I want her to know that there is so much groundwork that had to be done to cultivate a healthy lifestyle and that sometimes we have to walk through fire to find the best version of ourselves and there’s NO shame in that! 

🖤 My testimony below - the younger version 🖤

“I remember the teenage years were so hard for me. I tried so hard to find where I fit in. I thrived on attention from anyone who would give it to me. I avoided the people I loved because I felt convicted of the lifestyle I was living anytime I was around good. But God! He made sure through the youth, my family, real friends that could have walked away, he made sure he left the 99 to find me. He found me sitting right smack in the middle of my insecurities, anxiety, shame, anger, fear, and self sabotaging stage and he wanted me home. 

See the very thing that I tried to find was the very thing I needed to avoid. And that was to fit in when I was designed to be set apart. 🔥

Baby girl! I’m not sure how the teenage life is treating you but if you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here. 

Remember, no matter what. Your reputation is your honesty to others and yourself. And I used to not care about what others thought of me until I realized we were never meant to do life alone”

🖤 My testimony- the older version 🖤

I can share how God guides me through adversity because I was thrown into it through the years through health issues, trauma, miscarriages, not dealing with my anxiety and I found my voice I suppressed to make others comfortable. 

I’ve been wounded so many times opening up to others. I’ve avoided connection because it was my way of controlling the vulnerability of it. But when the creator of the universe ask you to keep sharing your story and heart you do it. 

The enemy knows what’s inside you and he will not stop until he takes everything you care about away all while making it look good. You are fighting battles for your own mental health and you’ll fight battles as the world tries to hold your children captive to worldly things not worth selling yourself out on. 

Slow down, breathe, then reposture yourself! 🤟


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sit with Jesus..

  This morning my husband got up to go hunting. Typically I’d fall back asleep and wake when the kids do but I kept hearing in my head, sit with Jesus. My mother in law gifted me a devotional years ago called messy motherhood. I’ve picked it up and put it down so many times but that’s motherhood right? However I chose that as my baseline for this morning’s visit with God. And man does he NOT disappoint when he specifically calls you to sit with him immediately!  In this devotional Lysa talks about: “(Ephesians 4:22-24). The Greek word for "made new" is koino. One of its definitions is "uncommon." I wanted to be an uncommon calm in the midst of chaos and an example of peace for my kids in a world of pressure. For that to happen, I came up with a plan for us moms: Tell the world to wait.” In my overstimulated brain I often getting very tired and weary. It’s like there’s no escaping it. But I was reminded today that I am managing blessings and if I want to cultivate q...
1 comment
Read more

Rise above!

I should probably give you some background on who I am and where I have come from. When I was 9 I started passing out. They ran test and finally determined I had bradycardia (slow heart arrhythmia).  They put a pacemaker in and it changed my life forever, my health is probably one of the main source of my anxiety and I never learned to cope with it until 4 years ago when I needed to rise above it. I am married to the most amazing husband. We have had struggles as we've grown up together. Trying to take on life. We've had multiple people live with us and we lived together a few years before getting married. there was never really a honeymoon stage. But through the hurdles of it all overcame those. In 2012 my husband had a dirt bike wreck and broke his collarbone. In 2013 I had a pacemaker replacement and while they were in there threading the lead in my artery punctured my lung and I got pneumothorax and a blood clot in my arm. Talk about my anxiety going through the...
Post a Comment
Read more

To the anxious momma...

When you’re an anxious person it’s already a tough journey. You just have days where you get swept away with obsessive thoughts and you physically feeling ill. As a mom it equally gets worse and better all at the same time. The worries of all the milestones to be met, as a working mom not being able to be there enough, and basically keeping them alive!  One of my biggest fears as a new mom was that I was going to pass my anxiety onto my daughter. That she would experience these debilitating thoughts and symptoms and be held captive too. I try to hide my anxiety and I’ve done pretty good being strong for her. But some days especially while coming off the Zoloft and realizing that I’m not quite ready for that she sees me struggling. She knows mommas not well. It makes me sad for her. But she’s strong and resilient and I believe in her having a sense of awareness of mental illness and seeing me learn to cope will help her too. She’s going through separation anxiety and I try to t...
Post a Comment
Read more